Thanks to PREE magazine for publishing doh let me be lonely in ISSUE 6: RUB-A-DUB-DUB. Check out the published version here. The latest version of the poem is below.
doh let me be lonely
…good, good night. kekeke. mi jus rememba readin wah de wise man say in mi son cleva people book oui, the snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. maybe dat man know de secret too. but mi sure mi know more bout skin an odda tings dan im, more dan any wizened man. kekeke. son, mi only kin, mi flesh blood, bone born, where yuh be? mi kill a snake once. true true. well nah me dyin tonight nah. kekeke. wah time it be? 12am, mus hurry hurry, gettin late. see how time fly, flies by. ave fi go, ave fi go. kekeke. if dey ketch me dey skin me alive. kekeke. son, son, why yuh stay away so long? mi feel a dark hollow in mi insides an around mi outside head. an empty empty. dey come steal mi tings. mi cyah find anyting since yuh leff. dey say i is mad. dey say i smell bad. dey say i black black an ugly, eighty years an more ugly as sin. mi still high backside, broad wide lips, pain-pivot hips, hung pointed breasts. hagged. dread-full. dey wan de land. but wah land mi possess? dey wan disappear me. dey wan mi ard wuk likkle likkle money. but mi hide it good. kekeke. who dere? who dere? oh oh, winsome wind, yuh dat dere nah? yuh comin fi ride tonight? kekeke.
son, yuh daddy gone so long long, but mi glad oui…nah! nah! dat nah true, mi miss im bad bad. his Old Spice close skin contact. yuh an yuh fadda same same smile like a simile. kekeke. hurry hurry, mi av fi hurry, but mi bent bones slow, breakin. who tell me live so long nah? kekeke. nice nice lawless lifetimes doin wah mi will doh! no-one go tie an wind me up…but lonely me lonely. always lonely. long time lonely; in mi blood blue lonely. mi kill a skinny cat once. mammy yuh happy up dere wid God? mi bet yuh two pally pally. even alive yuh were already martyr. daddy try hide his breath but we see signs pon yuh skin, an unda yuh thin skin. kekeke. mi hang it by it tail an skin it a new way. cleva mi cleva. son, dey stealin all a mi tings. is wicked dey wicked. hurry. where mi mortar nah? where fi hide it tonight? mi rememba dat time policeman john from de village look up at de wrong time an see me. bang bang. mi fallin. mi fallin. mi tinkin life ova fi sure. kekeke. but de old silk cotton tree ketch mi fired tail an hide me good good. son, come home nah. dey comin in mi house an stealin mi tings. doin wah dey waah wid mi in broad broad day light. dey say i deformed.
mi skin. hurry mi ave fi hurry. where fi hide it good good? cyah let dem find it. sprinkle salt. kekeke. tonight dey nah ketch me nah. mista, is yuh mi gettin tonight. mi see de way yuh treat yuh wife. tek her high vitality. nasty yuh nasty. mi comin an fix yuh good good. kekeke. hurry. quick turn in de mirror, last look at skin. look me now! mi a real naked shame less glowin serpent. dey waah mi home, all mi save up an down. ave fi go. wind good good. sky clear, slither moon. mi see nah rain till mornin. mi flyin fast an high, higher dan icarus. mi bright bright, power-full tonight. all mi light life mi fill up wid energy. kekeke. dey tryin ketch me out. which human neva like a witch hunt? dey teasin me, pushin me, callin me names. mi help dem birth dere babies good good. show dem where an how fi bury de coiled silver slither of cord, an why. mi give dem all de knowledge, de right herbs, de bush teas, de hand-down old-time remedies, de spells fi a spell ah fright, fi a turn ah nerves. dey doh even tink fi ask wah hell mi ketch in mi skin dis life, wah mi see, wah mi feel, wah mi know. kekeke. mi nah worry doh. someone ketchin fire tonight. hurry. son mi miss yuh. dey doh even look me in speck ah mi spark-eye. come home nah. mi know de islan small small but it deepa dan yuh tink an de vibration high high. plenty plenty unda de surface. mi ave tings fi show yuh, teach yuh, good good high knowledge, wisdom fi fill yuh up, mek yuh unda-tink ova-stan every tiny tiny ting in de whole universe. mek yuh know yuhself bad bad. good good. mi reach de crossroad. mi land. kekeke. mista gettin a taste tonight. well, mi too gettin a energetic taste oui. kekeke. god, why dey wicked so nah? wah mi do, mek dem treat me like dat? mek de children throw stones, call me names. push me.
hurry. 3am. sun cyah ketch mi tail. keyhole, crack or unda de door tonight? good good, mi nah see nah rice. mi kill a cow once. why mi sense someone watchin me nah? who dere? who dere? kekeke. doh let me ketch yuh nah. yuh smell me? yuh smell mi heat bad, mi bright burnin? mi smell yuh. i’ll be good fi yuh. mi comin. comin fi suck yuh. mek a blue-black bruise. mark up yuh neck. wicked yuh wicked. mi mek yuh highjump pale right out ah yuh thick skin. i is eight, an de nun English teacha say is dunce i dunce. point at mi poem spellin. mek mi stan pon table wid a pointed red D hat pon mi head, whole class laughin laughin. but she know me smarter dan her, is shame mi shame her. mi reach. mi comin. kekeke. mi come show yuh de god awe-full fearsome flamboyant hellfire yuh yellin soucouyant. kekeke. kekeke. but mi just pullin yuh big toe. just playin wid yuh. is nah vengeance mi come tek nah. uhuh. look. here. mi leff yuh a morsel ah worm-free immortal glow, someting hidden, fi silver slither slowly coil unda yuh skin. kekeke. let me flee oui. thunda an lightnin. rain comin. need fi fly home quick quick before sun return an turn fast fire pon me. good good night. hehehe…
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